The Illusion of Motherhood in Today's Society

 The internet can be a marvelous thing and a demon all at once.

Society has gotten worse with this idea of the perfect woman, the perfect wife, the perfect mom. If you're not living up to these standards, you're just not good enough, you're doing everything wrong, and maybe you aren't even fit to be a mom. I love the internet, but a lot of times I wish I was living as an adult before we had it. Less comparisons, less pressure, less hate from strangers.
Then in the same moment, the internet can be a Godsend, like blogs, where I realize there are a million other Moms out there struggling everyday with the same things I'm struggling with, and I'm not alone. And that brings comfort. It also reminds me when I look at a "perfect" wife/mom picture online and I know behind the camera it's chaos, and it took 50 shots to get that one "perfect" one to show off. -because that's what I'm guilty of doing too.

It's also a great resource tool. Trouble with a pregnancy symptoms not well-known? There's a group online all experiencing it as well.  Problems breastfeeding? Youtube videos to make sure you're all aligned and latching correctly. Baby not doing something or doing too much of something else? There's a website and forum for discussion, causes, and solutions. Instant- at your finger tips- any time of day- no need for an appointment.
But post your thoughts that might not be mainstream, or something that you couldn't do or didn't work for you and your baby/life- Mom Haters arrive to rip you a new one and send you into a whirling tornado of self-doubt and confusion.

It's easy to doubt yourself when you see what you think is perfection online. It's dangerous. You had your child a year ago and you still haven't lost your pregnancy weight, why not? This woman did. Look how toned she is too! Or I'm scrolling through Pinterest wondering why I can't be the working mom who can also decorate awesome cakes for my kids' birthdays (which I can't and Frederic has come to the rescue each time!). My most common downfall is seeing Moms/Wives that show they have everything together, they never seem to yell at their kids, and they're never brought to tears because they lost all control and calm in the house. Why can't I be like them? Am I the only one screaming at my kids? Crying because they won't eat dinner? Feeling my blood pressure rise when all the toys get dumped onto floor two minutes before bedtime? Or feeling completely overwhelmed and lost when each kid is fighting and crying, the laundry is done, and dinner is burning on the stove?
On the rare chance I come across a really honest blog or post from a fellow Mom who admits things that are just like mine, I feel a big sigh of relief that I'm not the only one. I'm not a monster mom and not the only person feeling like I'm loosing my mind 99% of the time.
I just wish there was more honesty in the internet and less hiding the realities of life. No one's life is perfect. No one could possibly have it all together, all the time. So why do we pretend? Why do we strive to reach something that is just completely unattainable? Why do we let this Lie make us feel worthless and like a failure?